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There are certain rules of etiquette to any situation. Contrary to what some may believe, etiquette is not some old-fashioned set of conventions that one can just ignore like unfolded laundry, it serves a purpose! Etiquette and social rules are what separates us from the monkeys; it keeps us from going crazy mad and throwing poo at each other!

If one is a young, inexperienced attendee of the nightclub scene, then one needs to learn, as in any new arena, the areas of traditional conduct involved. Not acknowledging these rules will only lead to hurt and contempt from one's older, wiser, seniors. For example, yesterday I went out to a club with some friends, almost all of which were girls, and we stood patiently in line like everyone else. There were noticeably a lot more males in line than females, and particularly in front of us was a group of five, newly legalized, males. These "men" literally were forming a wall between us and the door and judging by their lack of female accompaniment and their overtly "I just turned 19 and I can club now, wee!" mannerisms, it was apparent that on this very busy night the bouncer was sure as heck not to let them in. Realizing this fact, these males then proceeded to heckle the bouncer to let them in, another momentous newb mistake. Never heckle the bouncer. The bouncer can be your friend or your worst enemy. They heckled the bouncer so much, that even after seeing myself and my girl friends, he wouldn't even let US in despite the freezing June weather. I was thisclose to just poking these boys in the back and going "Hey, give it up dorks and get out of the way!"

Now, if these boys were more experienced and smart, they would have realized the futility of the situation and either

  1. paid their way in (which in my town would only have cost $20) or
  2. gone somewhere else

but instead they bitched about it for another 10 minutes, after which the bouncer finally relented and let my group in.

So moral of the story: don't be a drunk idiot, don't let your immaturity and eagerness to appear cool show, and most importantly, be a gentleman and let the ladies through when you're obviously not cool enough to get in. Remember, it's the same as when you were in kindergarten not so long ago: if you can't play nice, you don't get to play at all.

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