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The Intentional Breakup

My friend has a problem. His BFF has recently moved in with his girlfriend after only a few months of dating and it seems that she is slowly tightening her claws around his semi-youthful throat. My friend is afraid that said BFF is settling for the first girl that's actually stuck around and that this girl is not good enough for BFF because she is

  • slightly mannish (she has large hands)
  • bossy
  • school-marmish (she's a teacher, but not the cute kindergarten kind)

And so, said friend has asked for my input on how to break these two semi-young lovers apart before BFF is doomed to be with the mannish school-marm forever! But how do you break apart two people? Not being a particularly malicious person, I'm unsure on how to go about this. My first thought would be to use BFF's pet peeves, and somehow implicate school-marm in committing those much-hated peeves such that BFF will become repulsed and dump her. Second thought is to introduce BFF to someone else who is so fabulous and gorgeous and interesting that BFF will be dazzled into forgetting who school-marm is and will run into the sunset with the new improved-and-approved girlfriend. And lastly, my third thought is, isn't it cruel to try to ruin your BFF's relationship? Sure school-marm could be boring and bossy, but having large man-hands could be useful on a woman - she will always be able to open those nasty pickle jars, and he won't have to worry about her getting mugged when she goes out alone at night. So what to do?

Would you intentionally try to break up a couple or would you just hope that your friend comes to their senses? Or if you did decided to break them up, how would you do it?


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