I like to believe that I give good dating advice as I've spent many an hour helping various friends through their relationship dramas. Recently, my friend Mona*, somewhat newish to the dating scene, asked me for my interpretation of the following two situations to determine whether these guys were just being friendly, or flirty.
Situation 1
Occasionally in her spare time Mona enjoys ballroom dancing. During her last class, she noticed that one of the studio dance assistants kept glancing her way and smiling a lot at her, and he repeatedly cut in to whoever she was dancing with to whisk her away for himself. At the end of the class, Mona saw him looking at her again, so she asked him "how's it going" to which he then asked her what she was doing that night. Sadly, Mona did not take him up on this SOOO obvious offer to ask her out! I would say the fact that he kept trying to grab her attention and smiling especially at her, is a giant clue that he is being flirtatious.
Verdict: Flirty
Situation 2
Mona received a message via Facebook the other day from an acquaintance asking her how she was doing since her status indicated that she was feeling kinda down. Mona replied back, explaining current happenings in her life, and he replied promptly back expressing his sympathies, then asking if she'd like to hang out sometime. This situation is a tad more ambiguous than the first. I would say that this boy is "going fishing". In my experience guys are usually interested in a girl, if a girl will only give him some signal that he can make a move. In this case, I'd say this guy is interested in getting to know her better, be it as a friend, or as something more if the opportunity arises. Why else would he initiate a conversation like that? It is up to Mona to decide if she wants to show interest and take things beyond friendship. It also implies that this boy is probably shy, but sweet. He's probably not a creep because for some reason, creeps are very brave and forward in their intentions, perhaps in a misguided belief of their own desirability. The boy probably thinks she's cute, and wants to see if there is any possibility of friendship. She doesn't have to worry about this one hitting on her right away I'd say; he's probably just being more friendly than flirty.
Verdict: Friendly, with possibilities of future flirtations
So these are my interpretations. If anyone else has any differing opinions, or their own ambiguous situations that need interpretation
Labels: Culture